


High-Fashion Intromittent Organ

by hazelandglasz



Category: Glee
Genre: Early in Canon, Fashion & Couture, Gen, High School
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 13:12:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5786446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazelandglasz/pseuds/hazelandglasz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt gets suspended from McKinley for wearing a Vivienne Westwood penis necklace to school</p>
            </blockquote>





	High-Fashion Intromittent Organ

 

Kurt takes a deep breath, removing his coat and putting it in his locker.

_ It’s nothing, Kurt, it’s just a trinket, an accessory, nothing more than one of them wearing a cross or a star of David … _

He pauses, frowning at his own thoughts.

_ Does this make c-- p--  _ this _ , my religion? _

A blush instantly takes over his neck and cheeks in blotchy spots.

_ Okay, Kurt, some day, you will be able to say it, in your head, aloud, to someone, telling them to t-- _

“Hey boo.”

Kurt neearly jumps out of his skin at Mercedes’ greetings, and his hand flies to his throat. “OH, hey, hi ‘Cedes.”

Mercedes beams at him, flicking her soft curls over her shoulder, and Kurt admires her  [ outfit ](http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/glee/images/2/27/Mercedes_Season_1_Promo.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140128063100) .

“I see our last shopping spree has been put to good use,” Kurt comments, eyeing it all until his eyes rest on Mercedes’ necklace.

For a second, he thinks that it is one like his own.

And then Mercedes spots  _ his  _ [ necklace ](http://images.mic.com/coapw0y1i6shxjuqagds8x9olb3pb4anthm3pktner8xhyfhjv8ejyqyl3xygmfc.jpg) , and the way her eyes bulge confirm that she is not, in fact, wearing a Viviene Westwood accessory.

“Kurt !”

“Shhh!!!”

She drops her voice, but not her hand from his wrist. “What. In. The. Lord’s. Name. Are. You. Wearing?”

Kurt instantly straightens up, bristles and lifts his head up. “It’s called high fashion.”

“No, Kurt, it’s called pornography on a chain,” she hisses. “You’re going to get yourself beaten up!”

“So, it will be an ordinary day at McKinley High,” Kurt mutters.

“You could get suspended--does your father even know you have this?”

“My father lets me manage my budget,” Kurt counteracts, dread starting to invade his body.

What if Mercedes is right?

What if he gets suspended from school?

Oh shit, what if they call his father and question him about Kurt’s … non-Dress code approved choices?

His dad may have been cool with the whole coming out, but Kurt somehow doubts that he will be as lenient with--

Kurt huffs and stands even taller as he shoulders his bag.

It’s just a necklace.

They can deal with it.

Mercedes stares at him for a moment, before joining him, catching his arm. “As you wish, boo.”

Kurt gives her a tight smile--he’s not mad, he’s just about to puke of sheer nerves.

And--

“Mr. Hummel!”

_ Shit, shit, shit … _

Meh, at least he didn’t get beaten up ...

\---

“Okay, buddy,” Burt says slowly, in his placating tone he only uses when he’s approximately 0.2 seconds away from losing his temper, “I need you to explain it to me--talk to me like an idiot, and explain how you could think this,” he says, gesturing at the necklace lying on their coffee table, “would be considered abiding to the school’s dress code.”

Kurt crosses his arms over his chest, leg crossed and angrily marking the seconds. “If those Cheerios’ skirts are dress code abiding, then--”

“I’m not talking about those skirts, Kurt!”

His father so rarely raises his voice with him that Kurt freezes.

“I don’t care about those girls, let their parents deal with  _ that  _ impropriety! What I want is for you to give  _ me _ , your  _ Dad _ , an explanation as to why a necklace shaped like genitals seemed like a good accessory to wear in school!”

Kurt recoils from the strength of his father’s outrage and his hands grasp his knees until his knuckles turn white.

“I just--,” he starts, gulping a couple of times and Burt only looks at him with a serious look on his face, prompting him to go on, “--I just wanted to wear something that would elevate me above … Above the rest.”

“Well, it certainly made you … stand out.”

Kurt snaps his head to look at his dad, and he can’t be sure, but there is something akin to the hint of a smile on Burt’s lips.

But he dismisses that thought pretty quickly--his father wouldn’t …

He wouldn’t …

Make a dick joke, now, would he?!

“It’s a high fashion piece, Dad,” Kurt goes on. “Just like my  [ bow ties ](https://static1.artfire.com/uploads/products/2015/05/05/c4/11851904/large/high-end_fashion_personality_metal_wings_chain_velvet_bow_tie_d0dc1246_740662.png) or some of my shoes, or some of my  [ scarves ](http://www.emenaccessories.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Alexander-McQueen-Men-Skull-Print-Scarf-in-Purple-1.jpg) .”

“Except that last time I checked, your bow ties, and shoes, and scarves, and pants, and sweaters, didn’t have dicks on them, son.”

Kurt thinks of the pair of  [ leggings  ](http://i.huffpost.com/gen/606918/PENIS-LEGGINGS.jpg) he put in his basket just last week and removed when he came to the conclusion that he should just wait for sales, but he’s not about to mention them.

“Listen, Kurt, I get it,” Burt says with a sigh, and Kurt can’t help but raise a doubtful eyebrow. “Now, don’t give me that look, I may not be g-gay, but I do remember how it felt to be in High school and wanting to make the world just see me, okay.”

Kurt gives his father a small nod.

Now that the dust has settled, and he’s about to be homebound for the next three days, he feels a bit sheepish, to be honest.

And to think that the principal thought that it was Kurt’s way to try to go and turn some of his classmates into homosexuals.

Bleurgh.

“Now, what about you put that necklace in a drawer, until you’ve grown enough that the very word it’s shaped like doesn’t make you turn like a fire engine.”

“Dad!”

“And in the meantime, come back to the garage,” Burt tells him, this time with a smile on his face. “I’d bet that this … trinket of yours, took a big chunk of your savings.”

“Dad?”

Kurt looks up from his knees, head tilted to the side, not sure of what his father is saying.

“They decided to suspend you, for something as silly as their dress code, and yeah, it’s stupid, and petty,” Burt says, putting one hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “And yeah, this was inappropriate--as inappropriate as if you had decided that a pair of underwear was enough to go to school. But this doesn’t mean that I’m going to make you go through a double punishment.”

Kurt gives his dad a wobbly smile. “Th-thanks dad.”

“You’re welcome, buddy. Just doing my job.”

(Years later, once settled in New York, Kurt does pull the necklace out of its box and wears it with a deep blue  [ tuxedo  ](https://www.intimateweddings.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/purple-tuxedo.jpg) in lieu of a bow tie, and makes the headlines in every fashion blog.

Which was always the goal of that particular purchase.)


End file.
